The question sounds so simple—are you happy? Many business leaders and professionals miss out on growth and development opportunities by not taking their own happiness into account. To discuss this further, we recently sat down with speaker Tia Graham, Founder of Arrive at Happy and author of “Be A Happy Leader: Stop Feeling Overwhelmed, Thrive Personally, and Achieve Killer Business Results.” Graham has worked with global companies like Four Seasons and her leadership expertise has been featured on CNN, Forbes, and The Los Angeles Times to name a few.
Transcription:
Jim Fitzpatrick:
Tia, thank you so much for joining us on today’s show.
Tia Graham:
I’m delighted to be here with you.
Jim Fitzpatrick:
We needed this interview. Our viewers need this interview in light of COVID for the last two years and all the craziness on the political scene. Sometimes it’s hard to remain happy, isn’t it?
Tia Graham:
Yes, it is, definitely. All the external circumstances make it even more challenging over the last couple years.
Jim Fitzpatrick:
That’s right. That’s right. That’s why we need somebody like you in our life to remind us that it is one of the most important things that you need to have. Is start your day with happiness. So lets kind of jump right in here for those that are unfamiliar with you. I should say, not as familiar with you as we are here at the show, share with us a little bit of your background and your story.
Tia Graham:
Sure. So I am actually born and raised in Canada, but lucky to have American citizenship too. And after graduating from the University of Hawaii, I had a 14-year career in the luxury hotel industry. So I led sales and marketing teams in the Hawaiian Islands in New York City, Istanbul Turkey, and then also in Los Angeles. And leadership, I mean, I always loved leading people and also really very passionate about growing business and driving revenue.
Tia Graham:
I started my own company, Arrive at Happy, really when I went back to work after having my second daughter and I was attempting to balance everything, all my life circumstances at that point. And I have been researching positive psychology, and I’ve got multiple certifications in positive psychology, which is the science of happiness, neuroscience, leadership, and then I also am a certified chief happiness officer for happiness at work. I got that in Denmark several years ago. So I work with leaders on how to create really, really happy cultures so that the people and the business thrives.
Jim Fitzpatrick:
That’s right. And as we all know, happy employees make happy customers, right? I mean, that’s the number one rule today.
Tia Graham:
Yes, absolutely. Yes.
Jim Fitzpatrick:
Yeah, no question about it. So lets kind of jump right in here. How can the science of happiness and neuroscience help leaders flourish today?
Tia Graham:
Oh my goodness. I wish I learned about this when I first was starting off in my career are here in my early twenties. So the science of happiness can support leaders by giving them proven research based strategies and tools to increase their wellbeing, in their personal life, and while they’re working. And it’s all different areas of life and it also can help them lead their teams and create positive environments where their people can flourish and obviously create happy customers too.
Tia Graham:
And why I’m obsessed with the science of happiness is that it’s all proven. I know everything I teach is coming from Ivy league schools. And the research shows that when leaders are happier, when people are happier, they’re more creative. They will sell more. They’re more productive. You will have less turnover.
Tia Graham:
There’s so many pieces that affect the bottom lines of the business. And it’s better for our physical health, which we need as we’re in a pandemic.
Jim Fitzpatrick:
There’s no question about it. And we to be, as I said, in the opening, we really need something like this right now to remind us and to show us how, not only we can be happy but we can cultivate happiness among our teams because it’s so vitally important. So many people right now, and in the way of our employees and associates coming into work, we don’t know what they’re going through at home. Some are homeschooling their children and others have got real medical issues to deal with because of COVID. And then here they are showing up at work and trying to put a happy face on, right?
Tia Graham:
Right. Exactly. And I truly believe that this is, I call it the happiness imperative. It is vital for leaders to first take care of their own wellbeing so that they have enough to give to their teams. And then also to create an environment where the individuals can thrive. And of course it’s personal like you said. There’re different things going on in people’s lives, but it will absolutely pay off for the business and it’s the right thing to do as you’re working with all of these different types of humans.
Jim Fitzpatrick:
Sure. What is some of the mistakes that leaders make in this area?
Tia Graham:
Yes. So one area is leaders do not give enough ongoing positive feedback. And it’s not because they’re mean people or anything. It’s just that it’s not part of their rhythm. So one way to try to experience happiness is to give everyone consistent, authentic, positive feedback.
Tia Graham:
People want to know that they’re doing well, of course, coach for improvement as well, but make sure people are receiving positive feedback.
Tia Graham:
Another is to create a culture of psychological safety. So psychological safety is where everyone feels comfortable speaking in their mind, giving feedback to the leader, and so that is really, really important.
Tia Graham:
One more is that leaders don’t usually communicate enough how the work that everyone is doing is meaningful and purposeful. So a huge motivator for people at work is progress and meaningful work. And so another way to increase people’s happiness while they’re working is to let them know why their work really matters and how it’s helping society.
Jim Fitzpatrick:
Sure, sure. What do you say to the leader that that listens to this and says, “It seems like whenever I want to give positive feedback to my team members, it always comes back and bites me because then they’re showing up in your office wanting an increase in pay and I don’t want to always be in that situation?”
Tia Graham:
Yeah. Interesting. And usually the money and happiness conversation does come up. So I will say that don’t let that fear or concern stop you. If someone comes in and asks for more pay, that’s a part of being a leader. I dealt with it with sales people for many, many years. You want to give positive feedback and if at times there are conversations where people are asking for more pay, that’s just a part of leading. So I would say be prepared for it. Not necessarily you have to give it, but I think that’s just a part of leading people.
Jim Fitzpatrick:
Sure, sure. Because sometimes those employees will go home to their spouses and say, “Wow, this individual, my manager, he, or she really likes the job doing and she keeps, or he keeps complimenting me on the work that I crank out.” And then of course that can sometimes evolve into, “You should ask for a raise since they like you so much,” right?
Tia Graham:
Right. Right. Well, yeah. I mean, generally companies usually have annual rates. There is a general timeframe and a rhythm that that happens. But I will say you will get more out of that team member, more out of that employee, they will be more motivated. They will do their best. They will go above and beyond. You might have a conversation about more pay, but it’s worth it.
Jim Fitzpatrick:
That’s right. Is it a good idea to praise people and the job that they’re doing, and maybe praise is too strong a word, but is it a better idea to do that publicly among the other members of the team rather than calling them into your office privately and saying, “That’s well, [Emlio 00:08:30], you did a great job on that project.” I was taught a long time ago that you should reprimand privately and praise publicly. Is that still a good rule to follow?
Tia Graham:
Yeah. That’s a great rule to follow. And with one caveat I will say that some people prefer to be praised individually also. So ask your team members, say, “How do you like to be recognized? How do you like to be acknowledged?”
Jim Fitzpatrick:
That’s a great idea.
Tia Graham:
There’s going to be those people who say, “Do it in front of the group. I want the whole team to know.” And other people will say, “Let me know one on one.” So I would just ask each of your direct reports.
Jim Fitzpatrick:
Yeah, for sure. And sometimes it can help the leader because it can put them in a good light with the other team members rather than it always seeming like the manager or the leader of the organization is always coming down on the team. It’s good to show maybe that this leader has it in them to praise individuals for a job well done, right? I think the team needs to see that, right?
Tia Graham:
Absolutely. And right now with so many people reflecting on their life and how they want to work, how they want to live.
Jim Fitzpatrick:
That’s right.
Tia Graham:
You want people to know that you acknowledge their work. That you are grateful that they’re there because, let’s be honest, people have a lot of options right now. There’s a lot of different positions, a lot of movement, and it saves the company money if you can keep your team together and have them loyal and working together.
Jim Fitzpatrick:
That’s right. That’s right. There’s so many other, so many great companies out there Chick-fil-A comes to mind. I know it’s often used in the corporate world, but they do such a great job in cultivating a fantastic attitude among all of their employees. And they’re so willing to help you when you come in and they’re courteous and they’re polite and they’re friendly. And I think everybody walks away from Chick-fil-A saying, “Wow, what an incredible organization. I wish I could hire those bright young people in my organization.” But the reality is, is that you do have those people, you just need to have now the culture, right?
Tia Graham:
Yes, absolutely. And I read a statistic yesterday in Gallup that said that a person who feels connected to their manager, to their leader and they feel cared for, and they have a great place to work, that a competitor will have to come to them with a 20% increase for them to leave. Whereas if they’re not connected and they’re sort of disengaged, basically they’ll leave for just a minuscule increase. So you can actually prevent people from taking your team members just by having great leadership.
Jim Fitzpatrick:
That’s right. Yeah. So true. And then, at the same time, not only are you keeping your team together, but you’re also making the customer happy. I mean, at the end of the day, the customer today, like never before, is in that driver’s seat. And if they’re not happy, they’ll vote with their dollar, right? And go elsewhere where they are appreciated. And they’re met with a happy face and a great attitude. And we’ve all been in those scenarios as consumers where you walk away from a company thinking, “Geez, I’ll never go back there again, their attitude was terrible towards me.” When in reality it might have only been with that one individual, but that’s how important it is that the whole team is rowing the same direction with regard to showing a great attitude to all the consumers, right?
Tia Graham:
Yes, absolutely. And emotions are contagious. I talk about this in, Be A Happy Leader, where everyone on the team gets the ripple effect from the leader and from the manager. And so it’s really, really important. And yes, of course, customers have so many options and you want your customers to be telling their friends and family, “Hey, I recommend this company. You have to use them.”
Jim Fitzpatrick:
Sure, sure, exactly. Hey, you talk about how leaders can successfully practice turning off. What is that and how’s that done?
Tia Graham:
Yes. So the research shows that when leaders are able to, what I call, do a digital detox and be present, whether that’s with their children, with their elderly parents, maybe they’re going hiking with a friend, but to actually take away from your smartphone and your laptop and sleep, exercise, spend time with friends and family, meditate, whatever you want to do might be reading, cooking, that you are going to have insight. This is the neuroscience of insight.
Tia Graham:
You’re going to come up with new ideas. You’re going to have a different perspective and that your stress and your overwhelm and even if maybe there’s anxiety, will decrease. That there’s huge value in taking time to separate from your work, take care of the other sides of your life and it’s going to make you that much better leading your teams and leading your companies.
Jim Fitzpatrick:
Absolutely. So talk to us about the biggest takeaways from the book, Be A Happy Leader. What do you want the reader to leave with?
Tia Graham:
Yes. So the biggest takeaways are inspiration and motivation. I want leaders, I want everyone reading this book to know that so much of their happiness and their wellbeing at work and in their life is based on their daily choices. That’s what the science of happiness shows us. It’s not just your genetics. It’s not just what’s going on in your life. It’s based on your choices. And there are so many choices you can make every single day to increase your wellbeing, which will make you more successful at work. So that’s number one.
Tia Graham:
And number two is, I want people to be re-energized to really take care of the individual team members and the team as a whole, and to have everyone love where they work and that will drive business results.
Tia Graham:
And then third, over two decades of leading teams and working with many corporations with Arrive At Happy, I’ve cultivated these business strategies that allowed me to beat sales goals, beat revenue goals, and not have to work all the time.
Tia Graham:
And so I share these tools and strategies with leaders so that they can be really happy with their results and then also have a great life outside of work.
Jim Fitzpatrick:
That’s right. That’s right. How many times have we heard somebody when they say, “Well, why’d you leave that company?” And they’ll say, “I didn’t leave the company. I left the boss.”
Tia Graham:
Yes.
Jim Fitzpatrick:
And that’s so sad to hear because if that boss had just had a different attitude and one that is more motivational and inspirational, because for that one person that left, how many others leave or want to leave, right? So it’s-
Tia Graham:
Right.
Jim Fitzpatrick:
… This is something that we’ve got to get it right. We can’t afford to, to get it wrong.
Tia Graham:
Right. And leadership is difficult. There are so many challenges from stakeholders and owners of the company, and then of course, just managing human beings. So I hope to give people a lot of tools and tactics that I’ve used, that I teach about, that worked for me and have their journey a little easier.
Jim Fitzpatrick:
Yeah. That’s great. So I know that probably the viewers are asking right now, how does she stay so happy? Things in her life can’t always be perfect. How does she deal with it? So Tia, how do you deal with it? When things come up that you just say, “Ah, I can’t that this is happening right now.” As many of us find ourselves saying, how do you get back on track to say, “Okay, push it aside. I’m going to have a positive day today.”
Tia Graham:
Yeah. Well, I absolutely have challenging weeks, challenging months. I have two young kids. Parenting is really challenging as well as work and life. And I’m going through this just like all of you. So when I have been knocked down, I really work on acceptance and realizing that I’m in this position and my mindset has a lot to do with it.
Tia Graham:
I recognize that life is full of peaks and valleys and you can’t be joyful and happy all the time that there’s going to be times where you do get knocked down. So accepting that, but remembering that nothing lasts forever.
Tia Graham:
I also am very aware of the mind body connection. So when I’m feeling really negative, when I’m feeling demotivated, I will use my body to help my mindset. So get a lot of sleep. I will exercise, eat healthy, drink a lot of water. I will meditate. I will connect with my husband or friend and go outside and get some mother nature and use those experiences to then get me back to having a positive mindset.
Tia Graham:
And I also fill my mind with really great information. I watch Ted Talks. I read amazing books and I tell everyone we’re in a pandemic don’t watch scary shows right now. My husband and I will watch standup comedians on Netflix, because we need humor during this pandemic. So those are some of the tools that I use.
Jim Fitzpatrick:
Those are all great. I do some of those things myself to keep a positive attitude. I know that they work. Its great advice. The book is Be A Happy Leader, Stop Feeling Overwhelmed, Thrive Personally, and Achieve Killer Business Results. This is a must read for all of you leaders out there, business owners out there, managers out there, that are leading a team and also those that want to be motivated each day. And it’s a great, great way to learn how to that.
Jim Fitzpatrick:
Tia Graham, founder of Arrive At Happy, also a speaker and soon to be best telling author, I should say because I think the books going to be a great book.
Jim Fitzpatrick:
So Tia, thank you so much for joining us on the show we very much appreciate it. We’ll show all the information here on the screen as to how people can get ahold of you and also link right below this video. You can click the link to go ahead and get the book.
Jim Fitzpatrick:
So thank you so much Tia for joining us today.
Tia Graham:
Aw, thank you. It was a pleasure being with you.
Jim Fitzpatrick:
Great. Thanks.
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