Why Hope is Essential for Happiness and Business Success — Dr. Randy Ross, Remarkable!

Transcription:

Jim Fitzpatrick:
Dr. Randy Ross. Thank you so much for joining us on the show,

Randy Ross:
Jim. It’s always good to be with you. Thanks for the invitation.

Jim Fitzpatrick:
I love the name, Fireproof Happiness. Talk to us about that. I know that it’s probably… It’s self-evident in terms of maybe what the book’s about, but your own words, tell us what the book is all about.

Randy Ross:
Well, it’s my attempt to try to provide some encouragement to people who over these last couple of years who struggled because it’s been a challenging time for all of us, right?

Jim Fitzpatrick:
That’s right. That’s right.

Randy Ross:
I mean, coming through COVID and all the challenges of lockdowns and supply chain interruptions and just everything we’ve had to contend with. I think that-

Jim Fitzpatrick:
Then it went from that. Now we’re into inflation that’s unheard of and gas prices and now interest rates and-

Randy Ross:
And our political situation is not any better.

Jim Fitzpatrick:
Oh God. There’s no question about it.

Randy Ross:
And interpersonal relationships are being challenged. And so in the midst of all of that, wanted to try to provide some solid wisdom and some suggestions on how people could become more hopeful. To be able to face and embrace the challenges of life.

Jim Fitzpatrick:
Okay, great.

Randy Ross:
That’s what the book is all about.

Jim Fitzpatrick:
So, you believe that hope and happiness are intricately related? How so?

Randy Ross:
Well, absolutely. First of all, I wanted to write a book that would provide hope for people. Regardless of where they were in life. And there are different ways to approach it, but I wanted to approach it from a scientific standpoint. In other words, can you prove the efficacy of hope and validate it through scientific research? And I was intrigued because I had never pursued that line of study before. I found over 200 research papers that were peer-reviewed, all on the efficacy of hope and I was excited. So I began to pour over all that, but I wanted to put it in simple language that everybody could take and understand and apply to life. And so that’s what I did. And we know that people who are high hope individuals are, first of all, they’re more productive, right. On average, they are about 14% more productive than they’re lower hope individuals. So think of it this way. High hope individuals can do as much in six days as their counterparts do in seven.

Jim Fitzpatrick:
That’s a great way to look at it.

Randy Ross:
Yeah. It is.

Jim Fitzpatrick:
It pays to be hopeful folks.

Randy Ross:
Well, and so if you’re a leader of an organization and you want to boost productivity, you really need to think about is your workforce infused with hope. But not only that, but hopeful people are, they’re happier. They’re healthier. Research says they live longer, they’ve got better relationships. So, all around. People who are hopeful and here’s another way you could look at it too, that simply defined, depression is the absence of hope.

Jim Fitzpatrick:
Yeah. I guess it really is when you think about it.

Randy Ross:
Cause when you’re hope less.

Jim Fitzpatrick:
That’s right. That’s right.

Randy Ross:
Then you’ve given up. Right? You’ve given up hope that you can accomplish anything. And so what I really wanted to do was to bring some thoughts to the forefront and just help people navigate challenging times and doesn’t have to be challenging times. It could just be, they want to improve life, leadership, relationships. But if they are having a hard time, there’s a sense of angst or anxiety or uncertainty about certain dimensions of life wanting to give them some practical advice and wisdom, how they can navigate those difficult waters.

Jim Fitzpatrick:
Yeah. No question. This should be a best seller because there’s no one out there right now that isn’t questioning their own ability to have that hope each and every day? And, so talk to us, what are some of the techniques or tips that you’d recommend?

Randy Ross:
Well, there are a lot that we talk about in the book. But essentially what I want to do back up for just a minute, maybe you’ve heard the term VUCA. Maybe not. It was a term that was coined by the army war college. Back at the end of the Cold War. And they came up with this word that stands for volatility, uncertainty, complexity, and ambiguity, to describe the end of the Cold War, with the fall of communism. And I think if you take, let’s just take COVID as a macrocosm. Our post pandemic world volatility, uncertainty, complexity, ambiguity. So I want to take the VUCA of our world, whatever that happens to be and change it to CAVU, which is another phrase that some people may be familiar with pilots, particularly, CAVU stands for ceiling and visibility unlimited.

Randy Ross:
Now I know you and Bridget who had this experience, you go to the airport, you’re flying to some exotic location. You’re going down to your place in Florida. And you get on the plane and you’re being pummeled by the rain as it goes down the runway. But as you begin to ascend and you get up above the clouds, then all of a sudden bright blue skies open up, the horizon is unlimited. That’s what pilots call ceiling and visibility unlimited. In other words is bright blue skies. So what I want to do is turn VUCA into CAVU right. And by some of these principles and these practices we can actually help people do that. And there are a number of those and we can talk about some of those here, just a little while, but the background of that are just basic beliefs and mindsets that you have to have, as you approach anything that transpires in your life.

Jim Fitzpatrick:
And you need something like a handbook or you need a book to reference. Right. So, because I think so many people are out there kind of wandering around thinking, am I the only one feeling this way? Am I the only one that wakes up, sometimes in a funk, because of all that you hear on the news. Probably the worst thing somebody can do is turn on the news in the morning, regardless of what side of the aisle you’re on, whether it be Fox News that you watch or CNBC or CNN or what have you.

Randy Ross:
Doesn’t matter.

Jim Fitzpatrick:
It doesn’t matter these days. It really doesn’t and everybody’s fighting with one another at the end of the day, you just go, wow, there’s a lot of challenges out there that we’ve got to face as not just citizens, with human beings each and every day. Right. That’s tough.

Randy Ross:
Well, here’s the thing. I think the globe as a whole, is in what I would call a mild depression right now, because you don’t even understand the wear and tear that has on the human psyche. Just the ongoing tension and anxiety, that’s in our world. It’s just pervasive everywhere you look. To your point, doesn’t matter if you’re on the left, if you’re on the right, if you’re centrist, I know you still are being challenged by supply chain interruptions, gas prices, political stuff. It’s just overwhelming at times.

Jim Fitzpatrick:
So for the business leaders and for the managers out there and the leaders of companies and such that have this and are challenged with this each day, now they got to go in and they got to manage and lead a team.

Randy Ross:
Inspire their troops.

Jim Fitzpatrick:
And inspire their troops in spite of all of this. Right? So talk to us about the importance of that, because I know in previous books, you’ve written incredible pieces about just this right. About dealing with this as a leader.

Randy Ross:
Well, thank you. Well, I think the first thing that leaders have to do is they have to help their people embrace a mindset, a set of beliefs. And when it comes to hope, there are four basic ones Jim. The first is positivity, which simply says, I believe that my tomorrow can be brighter than today. No matter how bleak today may be. And there’s a lot in the market about positivity and positive thinking and positive attitude. But it goes beyond that. It has to start there, but that’s not enough. Because positivity, won’t get you through the most challenging times of life.

Jim Fitzpatrick:
That’s right.

Randy Ross:
It starts-

Jim Fitzpatrick:
It helps. It helps.

Randy Ross:
It helps. Right. It lays a foundation. But then you have to build a skyscraper of hope on top of that foundation. And so the second point of belief is responsibility, which just simply says that I have a say in how my life unfolds. In other words, I’m not a victim of circumstance. That I have control over certain elements in my environment. There are a lot over which I don’t have control. But I can focus on those things that I do have control over. And those that are internal are my responsibility. So my responsibility. The third is agility. And agility says that there’s more than one way to reach a desired destination. I’ve got a goal out there. One pathway may be blocked. I can circumvent it and go a different route.

Randy Ross:
I can clear the obstacle that’s in the way, or if necessary, I can even re goal, but there’s more than one way to paint a preferred picture of the future and get there. And the last belief is just, you have to embrace your reality. And that’s not to say that reality is necessarily subjective, but your path is different than my path. Your experience is different than my experience. And so we have to embrace the reality. The totality of reality, not have some Pollyanna attitude about what happens to be in front of us. But we have to face it and embrace it for what it truly is because only then can we navigate it effectively. But if we have those four beliefs, then we can instill those four beliefs in our people and help them get to a place that they can not only have a different mindset, but they can begin to put some practical things into practice. Then we can energize and literally change and influence our work teams. For sure.

Jim Fitzpatrick:
For sure. For sure. And this is something I would imagine you’d recommend that leaders spend time with their teams either on a daily or weekly basis.

Randy Ross:
Right. Absolutely.

Jim Fitzpatrick:
To talk this through.

Randy Ross:
So every time we engage with a team member is an opportunity for a coaching conversation. We can help assess where they are emotionally. We can help assess where they are in terms of relationships. Because as you know, and we’ve written about previously, good business is driven by healthy relationships. Well, you can’t have healthy relationships if you don’t have healthy people. And frankly, right now, one of the biggest concerns that a lot of leaders have is the emotional health and wellbeing of their people. They may be tremendously competent. They may know the product, they may know the process, but if they’re struggling emotionally, you’re not going to get the best performance from them. And I think oftentimes what happens when we get in challenging times, leaders have this tendency to put their head down, put their shoulder to the grindstone and work harder.

Jim Fitzpatrick:
That’s right. That’s right.

Randy Ross:
And just hope that everything works out okay. But the reality is if they look up and look around, they’re going to see a lot of people who are dragging emotionally right now. And intuitive, good leaders have this empathic capacity to understand when their people are struggling emotionally and to provide some resources that will help them.

Jim Fitzpatrick:
That’s right. So for the people that are listening to us, have this discussion right now that says, well, I have a team that works completely remote from our company. And it’s almost impossible for me to kind of check with them or keep an eye on them. You know what I mean? I see them on the Zoom call and then I don’t see them again for another 24 hours until the next Zoom call. Maybe there’s a meeting in there somewhere. Any recommendations you’d have for those managers of those teams?

Randy Ross:
Absolutely. And thanks for bringing it up because that’s the reality of where we are right now. The blended workforce, now is a reality that will be with us forever, I think. The entire team-

Jim Fitzpatrick:
I agree.

Randy Ross:
Is not going back to the office.

Jim Fitzpatrick:
That’s right. That’s right.

Randy Ross:
But layering on top of the challenges of being able to, or the challenge of having to get in touch with your people who are working remotely, add to that we have increased levels of depression, increased levels of suicidal ideation, increased levels of divorce, increased levels of substance abuse. And a lot of that has to do with the fact that people are lonely. They’re isolated. We don’t have that community. We’re not coming, interacting in the office or the manufacturing plant like we used to. Right? And so the thing is that, how do we help people deal with that sense of isolation? And that’s probably one of the biggest challenges that leaders have right now.

Jim Fitzpatrick:
Yeah. There’s a question.

Randy Ross:
And that’s why we’re doing a lot of virtual work with teams because we’ve got this blended experience. It’s always still better to come together when you can. But there are a lot of people who still are working remotely and a lot of teams are saying, Hey, we’re geographically dispersed and we can’t bring everybody together. So how do we connect? And I think we have to redouble our efforts, to be more personal. Because those online meetings aren’t going to satisfy. We have to make the personal call. We have to ask the harder question, not just, Hey Jim, how are you doing? But how are you really doing? And then we got to be transparent and say, man, I don’t know if you’re like me, but I’ve gone through some challenging times and it hadn’t been easy for me, over the last two years to stay sharp and to stay fresh and be on my relational game. So let’s just talk, let’s be honest, let’s be vulnerable. And one of the steps that we talk about in increasing your hope is literally asking for help.

Jim Fitzpatrick:
Yeah.

Randy Ross:
Being vulnerable and asking for help. Because until you do that, you really never know what resources could potentially be yours, for people around you who would love to offer assistance or reconnect at a deeper level.

Jim Fitzpatrick:
That’s right. And it is such a touchy conversation with most because there are people that don’t want to show that vulnerability. Cause I might, they feel, oh, I might lose my job or they might replace me or they might look different at me if I say, Hey, I’m having a difficult time right now. I mean, my spouse might have lost their job and my kids are doing the best they can to work from home or what have you. And it is a different environment out there and not everybody’s making the adjustment that well. Right.

Randy Ross:
So, well I think that there is this huge fear that people have. If I admit that I’m struggling with something, will there be any punitive measures? Will people lose confidence? Will they lose faith in me? But just the opposite I believe is true, because for the best organizations, those are the times that leaders can step up and demonstrate empathy and connect on a deeper level. And when leaders do that and they show compassion, they show concern and they provide resources to help people navigate those difficult times.

Jim Fitzpatrick:
Yeah. That’s a good point.

Randy Ross:
Here’s what I’ve seen. I’ve seen those individuals become some of the most loyal, dedicated, trustworthy people that you may have in the organization because they appreciate the fact that maybe for a while they were given a break or a pass or provided some resources and then they bounce back even stronger than before. If they have the right kind of information that will help them navigate tumultuous times. So I think an organization that demonstrates compassion is the one that’s going to hold onto their workforce. And honestly, right now a lot of groups are dealing with retention. You know that.

Jim Fitzpatrick:
There’s no question about it.

Randy Ross:
The great resignation. People are shifting, changing jobs because there’s no emotional attachment relationally with the people that they’re working for, or working with.

Jim Fitzpatrick:
That’s right. And some of those people, I have kind of gone out, I know some of them might have said, I’m so hopeless at some point that maybe just, I need to change. I need to change my career. I need to change the company that I work for. Maybe I’m going to do something on my own, not necessarily the right move. But just because of the change for the sake of change.

Randy Ross:
Yeah. And I caution people all the time. When you’re struggling emotionally, that’s the last-

Jim Fitzpatrick:
Time you want to make a big move.

Randy Ross:
Exactly, because you’re not emotionally whole. And you’re reacting sometimes to a situation. And so what I encourage people to do, if you are at a place that you’re unhappy, you’re unsatisfied, slow down. Look at some of the content that we have about increasing your level of hope. And it may not be the situation that you’re in, it may be how you’re dealing with things internally. And here’s the thing, unhappy people are going to be unhappy wherever they go. The environment’s not going to change that. It’s an internally driven issue. So what we wanted to do was to try to get some help and some practical wisdom to people, to reassess where they are internally, emotionally and deal with their external world more effectively.

Jim Fitzpatrick:
That’s right. That’s right. Hey, in the book, one of the chapters is entitled, reverse engineering hope, you might have touched on some of them, but I did want to ask you about that. How do you do that? How do you reverse engineer hope?

Randy Ross:
Yeah. Well, so hope is this ethereal concept for most. Everybody understands that we need it. Everybody understands that it’s necessary and that we’re better people if we’re hopeful. But if you ask people to define it, they rarely can give you a solid answer.

Jim Fitzpatrick:
Soon as you said that I’m thinking to myself, how do you define that, right?

Randy Ross:
Yeah. So-

Jim Fitzpatrick:
Best being positive. Not necessarily right? No.

Randy Ross:
No. And actually it’s much, much more practical than that. Some people have the mistaken notion that hope is just wishful thinking. Or it’s a Pollyanna attitude. Or it’s not a matter of blowing out birthday candles or pitching pennies in a pond, hope defined is a dynamic motivational system tied to inspirational goal setting. And that’s what most people don’t understand. It’s not just this big pie in the sky dream. It’s tied to specific inspirational goal setting. And quite frankly, as much teaching as we’ve had throughout our careers on goal setting, most people don’t set effective goals.

Jim Fitzpatrick:
That’s a whole nother show.

Randy Ross:
It is.

Jim Fitzpatrick:
That’s a whole nother show.

Randy Ross:
It is.

Jim Fitzpatrick:
You’re exactly right about that.

Randy Ross:
People don’t… They don’t know how, it’s not character based. They don’t know how to measure-

Jim Fitzpatrick:
They don’t write them down because they don’t want to fail at them if they written them down and yeah, you’re— you are so right about that.

Randy Ross:
Yeah. And so when you deconstruct hope or reverse engineer it, what we were looking for is how do you define it? What are the components that comprise hope? And there are four, and those components are the work of hope, which is the determining the goal, the preferred destination. That’s the work, the white boarding. Where do you want to go? How do you think it out? What is the destination we’re headed toward? And it’s got to be inspirational. It’s got to be character based. That’s the goal setting part. But then beyond that is the will. Because if the work is the preferred destination, the will is the passion to get there. So it’s the emotional fortitude. It’s the emotional dynamic that you bring that will sustain you when things get tough. That’s the will. But then you got the way, which is the pathway. It’s the means whereby you’re going to get there. And that’s where the agility comes in because so many people get stuck because they pursue a goal and all of a sudden they hit a blockage or they hit a difficult time.

Jim Fitzpatrick:
All the time. Right.

Randy Ross:
And they give up or they abandon or they parachute.

Jim Fitzpatrick:
Right. They become hopeless.

Randy Ross:
They become hopeless, and we have to help them understand that there’s not just one way to get there. There could be a hundred different ways to get there and there’re resources that you can use to either clear the path or go around the path, find a different route. And that’s the pathway, the way. And the fourth one is the will. I mean, excuse me, the width. Which is the people. So the work the will, the way, and the width. And so the question there is, what’s the community? What’s the group that you’ve surrounded yourself with that will either provide the additional resources to help you get there. Or we encourage people to take an inventory of their relational world. Sometimes the people that we’re with are hindering us from being able to get to-

Jim Fitzpatrick:
Often.

Randy Ross:
Yeah. Because if they’re a bunch of naysayers or dooms dayers, or fear mongers, they’re not going to help you get to where you want to be. And so literally one of the things that we do to help people elevate their hope, one of those 10 practices, the first is to set inspirational goals. And again, we can talk about that at a different time, but the second is to take an inventory of your community. Who’s your support group? And do you need to eliminate some people from that group?

Jim Fitzpatrick:
That’s right. It’s hard to do, but it’s reality.

Randy Ross:
It’s a reality because you need to have boundaries with those that are naysayers and negative. And then how do we invite and embrace more people into our world that can be our coaches, our mentors, our encouragers, our cheerleaders in life.

Jim Fitzpatrick:
Yeah, of course.

Randy Ross:
And that’s important as well.

Jim Fitzpatrick:
That’s right. That’s right. And if they are hopeless in their lives and they don’t have that motivation or that drive because of what they’re going through A, buy the book. Give it to them as a present.

Randy Ross:
There you go.

Jim Fitzpatrick:
Fireproof Happiness, we’re going to show it again on the screen. But all kidding aside, you really do need to try to get those people out of your life or at least really limit them.

Randy Ross:
Limit the influence, because-

Jim Fitzpatrick:
That’s right. That’s right.

Randy Ross:
‘Cause hey, some of them may be family members and you can’t remove them from your life.

Jim Fitzpatrick:
No, but you can minimize them.

Randy Ross:
And some may be colleagues too. And you still have to work together, but you can put boundaries around the amount of time you spend with them and how much you allow them to impact you in a negative way.

Jim Fitzpatrick:
That’s right. That’s right. And that is so vitally important. Because I know that just for my own experiences in life that, you might go out and I’m going to conquer the world and I got a plan and I’m going to go out and set the world on fire and you’ve got all these people around. You can’t do it. It’ll never happen. Are you sure. And did you put money away? Did you… Is it going to really ha… And you say to yourself, wow. I didn’t even want to hit the front door now, after listening to these people. Right.

Randy Ross:
Well, so there are two kinds of people in the world. And this’ll resonate with you. I call them, you have balcony people and you have basement people and balcony people are the ones who, while you’re performing on the stage, they stand up in a roar of applause and they cheer you to a higher level. Your basement people, they’re not people who literally live in a basement, but they’re people who drag you down. And we all have balcony people. We need to think about how do we add more balcony people to that community. And we have basement people and we need to learn how to limit their influence.

Jim Fitzpatrick:
Ah, there’s no question about it. And if you take nothing away today, other than what he just said, make sure you are surrounding yourself with the right people so that you can fireproof yourself with happiness. And I want to thank you so much for joining us, Dr. Randy Ross found… Let me redo that Chris. Dr. Randy Ross, founder, and CEO of Remarkable and best selling author. This will be another best selling book, Fireproof Happiness. We’re going to provide all the information here on how to get the book, but I highly recommend you get the book. Any book Randy Ross has written. I’m telling you’re going to want to get your hands on it, read it, take it to heart and practice it. So, Randy, thank you so much for joining us. Really appreciate it.

Randy Ross:
Absolutely. Jim, can I throw one other thing in there?

Jim Fitzpatrick:
Please do.

Randy Ross:
So right now, if everybody hurries, I’m not sure when we’re going to air this. But if they hurry right now, they can get a copy of the book on Amazon Kindle. Because we’re in a pre-launch phase.

Jim Fitzpatrick:
Oh, cool.

Randy Ross:
Okay. So right now you get copy of the book.

Jim Fitzpatrick:
We’ll show them how to do that then.

Randy Ross:
Yeah. For 99 cents, you can get the Kindle edition. You don’t actually have to have a Kindle to get it. But when the book is released here in just a few weeks, it’ll come out in soft cover, hard cover and audible. And then the price is going to go up on the Kindle edition. So now’s the time to get it.

Jim Fitzpatrick:
Now’s the time. So if what I’m hearing, for less than a cup of coffee at Starbucks, or even Dunkin Donut in this case, because it’s only 99 cents.

Randy Ross:
Absolutely.

Jim Fitzpatrick:
You can begin to change your life and become a hopeful person. Right?

Randy Ross:
Yeah. And for those who are interested, we’ve also taken a lot of this content, we put it in a digital format. So we actually have a six hour program that they get access to online that will help them be able to work through a lot of this with exercises and questions. And just a very practical way for them to take it, and utilize it either personally or with their teams or, and I really suggest this, with your kids.

Jim Fitzpatrick:
Yeah. I was going to say-

Randy Ross:
Cause kids right now, teenagers, young adults, they’re struggling.

Jim Fitzpatrick:
That they are.

Randy Ross:
With being isolated and this is some content that will help them. And for the moment it’s a course that we offer online for $499. But for right now we’re offering it for 179.

Jim Fitzpatrick:
Okay. Wow.

Randy Ross:
So people can take advantage of it, but it’s got all kinds of information and resources in there to help people level up their leadership, up their game, bring a different mindset to life and relationships

Jim Fitzpatrick:
That 179 is better spent doing this than it is a brand new pair of Jordans. Right. For that kid.

Randy Ross:
And less than an hour’s worth of one on one counseling.

Jim Fitzpatrick:
That’s exactly right. Dr. Randy Ross, thank you so much.

Randy Ross:
Always a pleasure, Jim.

Jim Fitzpatrick:
Great.